That man of mine

Flowers are a traditional gift men get for the women in their lives, whether for their sweetheart on Valentine’s Day or a special anniversary, or for Mom on Mother’s Day.  Now, in these modern times, florists are promoting the reversal of this practice and advocating that men may be the recipients of floral gifts. Of course, florists are motivated by the potential for increased business, but that is no reason to preclude examining this idea. 

The plants I usually see in offices are non-floral green plants. Ivy seems a popular choice whether faux or live. I have even seen cacti. They contribute a botanical element to their surroundings, which adds character and personality to the work place, but in a neutral way. That is, they don’t detract from the professional ambience. At the risk of generalizing, this seems to me decorum rooted in the male perspective. But if a man regularly meets with clients in his office, plants tacitly provide a warm, hospitable welcome. Why not make them colorful?

I came across an interesting treatise entitled “An Environmental Approach to Positive Emotions: Flowers”. It documents an attempt to measure the male’s response to flowers in his environment. I don’t know how many have ever read a scientific paper, but they go to great lengths to provide experimental support for their conclusions. To those for whom the subject is not interesting, they can make for tedious reading. I will keep my summary brief.

The paper begins with the thesis that flowers influence emotion in a positive way. A study group was selected and given a gift. There were 10 possible gifts, one of them being a bouquet of flowers (another was candy). The recipients’ facial responses were noted, specifically whether they smiled upon receipt of the gift. To analyze the results of an experiment, scientists need something to measure. In this case they quantified smiles: 1.) the Duchenne smile, the most intensely happy because it involves the most facial muscles, 2.) the zygomatic smile, which is restricted to the corners of the mouth; 3.) no smile at all. Only flowers elicited the Duchenne smile 100% of the time. This experiment used only females as subjects. This supports the traditional notion that women like to receive flowers.

A second experiment was performed that included men among the subjects. Bouquets were offered to individuals riding in an elevator. It was measured that those receiving flowers exhibited the Duschenne smile more than did those receiving another gift or no gift at all. It was also measured that recipients of flowers were more likely to move closer to the one who offered the bouquet, adopting a more social position by collapsing the dimensions of their perceived personal space. Finally, the recipient was more likely to initiate conversation than were those who did not receive flowers. These findings were as true of men as of women.

Here is a succulent garden that
contributes much visual
interest wherever it is placed. It is
compatible with most
decor ative themes.

This simple, but elegant,
 arrangement in The Japanese
style adds a tasteful element
to any room without
prettifying it.

So why not send a man flowers on his birthday? Or when he gets a promotion? Or when his wife has a baby? Florists have even developed criteria for the types of arrangements appropriate for the male recipient. The colors should be bright and the blossoms large, with clean lines (powerful?). Men don’t want soft pastels and they don’t want a kaleidoscope of tones with intricate textural details. You might try a succulent garden. Single orchids in a dish are also a good option.

I had a male client who provided me a unique challenge. He had seen our brochure and was taken with a vase I had used for an arrangement in a formal setting of dark wood and leather chairs. He wanted the same vase for his office, but with a different arrangement that was compatible with his office’s more modern design and with the natural light that flooded through its southern exposure. Further, he wanted the arrangement to express his love of the outdoors. And he wanted the composition, with its green vase, to be compatible with a picture of a woodland scene dominated by a blue lake. The challenge was to harmonize the colors of the vase and picture and to denote his attachment to the natural environment. My point is—here was a man who knew he wanted flowers in his office and knew just what sort of arrangement was compatible with his personality. Here was a man comfortable with himself.

This composition is one
of a pair designed to
embellish a room with
traditional masculine
overtones: walnut
panelling and book
shelves, leather upholstered
furniture... in all, a
very formal look.

The same vase as the one to the left
was used as part of an entirely
different composition. The use of wild
flowers and dried elements produces
a less formal arrangement. The blues in the
picture and the floral display combine
to produce a vignette that the client valued.

I suspect most men think it effeminate to display floral arrangements. They have pictures of their family on display. They exhibit sporting trophies with pride. Why not acknowledge their aesthetic character? Identifying flowers with a lack of virility is, I think, a distinctly cultural prejudice. Flower Design has a Facebook friend in Japan who is a florist and I discussed this with him. He said in Japan, it is perfectly acceptable for a man to give flowers to another man on a celebratory occasion. There is no stigma attached to this demonstration of friendship. After all, he pointed out, this is the land of the Samurai.

Today’s high quality artificial flowers will make a lasting gift without incurring significant maintenance costs and they will add a new dimension to your interior design.

So, are there women reading this who have given men flowers? Were they a romantic gift or a thoughtful gesture?